The story of us....

Remembering the friends from NCSU

2011-11-18T21:47:00.001-05:00

Today on my way home I went to get some groceries at the wife's request. As I was waiting for my turn at the register, I heard some young boys talking enthusiastically in the familiar Indian accent in the aisle behind me. I turned around and observed what they were doing while I waited. There were exactly 10 of them, probably came over in two cars belonging to two helpful seniors who would have volunteered to take the rest eight to the grocery store as part of their once every two weeks routine. On that note I want to take the opportunity to thank all of our senior friends at NC State who always helped us for such grocery store trips. I saw what they had shopped, and it all was so similar to our list from 10 years ago. Eggs, lots of cans of kidney beans and the black eyed peas, 4 packs of sugar, 3 packets of bread, lots of cheese, ketchup, flat bread, veggies galore, juices (the largest size containers), and a lot more. The only thing they had which we never brought into our vegetarian household was a Turkey....they sure seemed to have gotten into the American culture faster than we had back in those days! I still distinctly remember those days not so long ago when we packed a trunk full of grocery so we didn't have to bother another senior car-owning friend for at least two weeks. Upon reaching home it would take two trips to the car for all five of us to unload that grocery, and then not an inch of airspace was left out in the refrigerator. I turned around as my turn had come, and looked at my short list of items. I have a car now so can go to the grocery store several times a week. I had organic stuff as I no longer have student loans to worry about. I now seem to have a problem with tap water and drink only fresh spring water - collected at the source - because I can afford it. Such contrasts always cross my mind when I see people who I once was like in different walks of life. Times change I guess, and so do people, just that the nostalgia remains the same :-). To all my friends from the NCSU days, had a great time being with you in zip code 27606. We should plan to meet again.

Time is flying by...

2011-10-06T21:38:00.003-04:00

Today after the little over three year old Aanvi was done with her dinner, as I removed the tray that locks her into her high chair, I saw her just step down from the chair like we adults do, without having to think about it or make any effort. Suddenly my thoughts went back to a day not so long ago, when after she was done with her dinner, I had removed the locking tray on the same high chair, and told her that on that day I was not going to put her down and that she had to do it on her own. She had never been successful in doing that before. Everytime, after a lot of jostling around, she would end up clinging to the chair with her legs hanging in the air looking for the floor to put them down, and then we would have to help her down. On that day as I gave her that challenge and stepped into the kitchen to put her dish away and get her some water, she managed to do the impossible!! Her feet found the ground they had been looking for for many days. She ran to find me in the kitchen, jumped on to me, hugged me tight, and made a grand announcement..."Dadda, I did it!".

Today, she just stepped down and went on to do her thing. I thought to myself how fast this change had come about. Then I thought that it won't be a long time before in the same manner she would pick up the keys to her car and drive away without looking back at us. I am sure at that time I will remember the days when I had to put her in the car seat and buckle her up, or the time when I had to carry her out of the car seat, and the little Aanvi, deeply asleep, would give me the best hug.

Back again...

2009-03-02T18:44:00.002-05:00

I told my wife sometime back that I am going to start blogging again...when I read this line today, I thought to myself that if I don't put this on the blog, I would have missed a golden opportunity to restart. So here it is, continuing the 'on-liner' series. This line (there are more lines worthy of mention, maybe in a later post) from Warren Buffet's letter to Berkshire's shareholders in Feb 2009:

The First Law of Corporate Survival: Modest incompetence simply won't do; it's mindboggling screw-ups that are required

(Warren's way to potray the utter helplessness of the federal government in letting huge financial institutions fail, unfortunately)

Finally.....

2008-04-30T20:43:00.003-04:00

.....I manage to get some free moments to write this. Its been a few long, eventful, busy, fast flying months. Many things happened, met many people, done a lot of work, still more pending. But in the past weeks whenever the thought came of writing something, the voice within me gave me the same answer every time....to write about this thought that has stuck to my mind.

On a business trip I met this person who has a disease for which there is no cure. The disease shortens the lifespan of the person it afflicts. I can't describe the feeling I went through when the person stated this fact to me. He said it is a strange experience to live when you know you have a terminal illness. That reminded me of a line which I read somewhere....WE ALL HAVE A TERMINAL ILLNESS - ITS CALLED LIFE!!

Ever since then this phrase has stuck to my mind. I find myself saying it time and again to myself. I observe people around me, critically look at the way they behave, and I see that most of the times people live as if they are going to live forever. Often times when I analyze my own behavior I find myself doing the same thing. I wonder what it would be like to live with the realization that you are for sure not going to be around after a certain period of time. I wonder what it would be like to live if you know for sure that you are going to live for eternity. I wonder where the beginning is, and where the end, and what's the purpose, or if there is even one!

Identity theft!!

2008-02-21T12:04:00.003-05:00

Since a few weeks we all have witnessed the commercials of Lifelock where the CEO Todd Davis announces in public that his social security number is 457-55-5462, and then confidently says that their customers' identity is absolutely safe under their watch. They also mention that every 3 seconds somebody's identity is stolen and used for malicious purpose. Although interesting, what I want to talk about here is not the theft of one's identity defined in terms of alpha-numeric characters, but rather the loss of one's identity as defined in terms of aspirations and dreams.

We all have numerous identities given to us with reference to the people around us, and each of these identities require us to do things in order for us to do 'justice' to that identity. As a good son I am expected to behave in a manner that keeps my parents happy. As a good son-in-law I have to fulfill the social obligations that come along with that role. The day I deviate slightly, I stand a chance to lose that identity, or at least face the trial for not having given 'justice' to that identity of mine. I am also a husband, an employee, a manager, a nephew, a brother, a brother-in-law, a friend, etc. etc. etc.

All too often I ponder that does not all this end up stealing my true identity? The individual within me has some aspirations, some expectations from my own self that need to be satisfied. But in the process of doing 'justice' to my other identities, I sometimes seem to lose the identity of my own self. Though I have never explicitly spoken to them, when I look at all the people around me, I feel they are all the victims of that same identity theft to a lesser or greater extent than me. I also do sometimes curse my own self for using this excuse to cover up my own laziness, cowardice (or dutifulness, however way you might look at it), and non-action. Many times I console myself by saying that we ought to be practical, or we have to accept the reality, or may be some day....., or we have to keep the right balance.

In the end, the fact remains that almost every human being is a victim of this identity theft. And considering that there are approximately 3 births every second on earth, the rate of this crime is 9 times as much as that advertised by Lifelock. Unfortunately, I don't think there ever will be a corporation that can save us from the identity theft that I am talking about. I only wish that some day human civilization will evolve enough to notice this gruesome crime and prevent it from happening. In my lifetime, I only wish that I always live with the consciousness of this crime, and not myself afflict anyone around me with it.

Death

2008-02-04T10:18:00.000-05:00

I am scared of discussing this. Not because I am scared of the phenomenon called death, but because almost every person I know is very sensitive about this topic. Nevertheless, after a lot of holding myself back, I decided to face it once and for all.

In the past few weeks I got the news of deaths of people that a couple my acquaintances were very close to. I felt very uncomfortable facing those acquaintances because the way I perceive death is so not normal. I will attempt here to put down in words how I feel about death (especially when it comes to the death of somebody very close to you), and would welcome views that are in agreement or otherwise.

As for death in general, I simply see it is an end of existence. I look at the human body in the same light as the body of any other creature including animals, plants, insects, microbes, etc., and hence don't find any difference between the death of the latter or former. There are many related topics that I would like to write on at some point of time, like analyzing human beings and their actions after accepting the fact that all humans are but members of a species called homo sapien sapien, just like tommy next doors is a member of the species canine familiaris. For now, bluntly, death is an end of existence.

Now, things get complicated when you bring into picture the emotional aspect. The person who is no longer alive would have been somebody's spouse, somebody's parent, somebody's sibling, etc., and all those "somebodys" have emotional ties with that person that are difficult to let loose. All those "somebodys" are going to miss that person. All those "somebodys" are deeply hurt by the absence of that person. I do fully understand, accept, and respect these emotions. What I don't understand is that was it the intention of that person to give so much pain to all those "somebodys"? Or more importantly, will seeing all the "somebodys" in grief make that person happy at all? The conclusion that I come to personally is that if one really, and objectively, cares about the opinions of the dead person, he/she will start leading the normal life immediately. He/she will celebrate the life of the person, cherish the fond memories with that person, try to imbibe the qualities of the person that he/she appreciated, do everything that had the person been alive, would have made the person happy. Most people behave in the exactly opposite manner (except the imbibing of good qualities part). This is not because they don't care about the opinions of the dead person, but because they are not objective in the process. The shock and sorrow takes over the objective sensibilities, only for them to come back with time, sooner or later. The question I always ask in my head when facing such circumstances is: why not sooner?

The one thing that I don't like at all about such situations is my loved ones insisting that I talk to the person who has lost a dear family member. The fact that I have never called that person in my life tends to exacerbate this dislike. Just think about it, I have never, I repeat emphatically, never, called a person in my life. I only meet this person on social events, maybe once a year or less. Today I hear that the person's father passed away. I do sympathize with the person, I understand that he is in grief. I know that that is all I can do. There is no possible way in which I can help the person, nor can I be a shoulder to cry on because I am not very close with the person (or the other way round). So what should I do? My loved ones are of the opinion that I should at least once call the person up and say words like "I am sorry to hear about your loss" or "Let me know if I can help in any way" or "Everything will be OK" or "It happens, what can we do". I say to myself, the person already knows all this. I am sure the person is trying to cope up with the situation, let us give him room to himself to do it. Is the constant reminding that he has lost his father going to be of any help to him? It is like a person who is repenting on a mistake and trying to correct it, while everybody else just keeps reminding the person of how bad he/she is, or what a terrible mistake it was, or if nothing else point a finger and say "you are a sinner!". I have never found myself at home when I see the way the majority of people behave when there is a death, and everytime I have come across as a insensitive stone hearted person to most of that majority.

Maybe with time I will learn how to perform my 'duty' of talking to people in such circumstances. Or maybe I will not. The one thing I know is that whenever I become a victim of such times, I would like to accept the fact, move on with life as I will have to sooner or later, and pay homage to the person no more by trying to live in a way that would have made him/her happy. If a couple of week later I have to attend a wedding, birthday or baby shower, I will gladly go there and enjoy, because I know that if the person would have been alive, he/she would have expected me to to exactly that. All the people who do call me, though I don't believe in that, I am glad you feel about me. All the people who don't call me, I know precisely why you didn't!!

Truly Intriguing!!

2008-02-01T14:48:00.000-05:00

The headlines for today: Exxonmobil posts the largest profit in corporate history. According to this report on CNN, this translates into a profit of $1300 per SECOND!! I thought of putting this into a different perspective - how does this per second 'profit' compare to the per capita income of India? This world bank statistic puts the real per capita income of India in the year 2006 to be $820. WOW!! It means Exxonmobil makes more profit every second than what an average Indian makes in an entire year!! Also do note that we are talking about the 'profit', the comparison will be even more shocking if we take into account the 'revenue'.

Take this a step further. Convert this profit and per capita income to find out how many people of India can Exxonmobil support if it were to donate its profit away. Do the math and then look at this table that shows the population of the states of India. Imagine this, if Exxonmobil were to donate away its profit, it would be enough to support the population of Gujarat!!

When I hear such stories, I find myself torn between two thoughts - Is this fair or such profits are crossing the threshold towards being called criminal? On the other hand, how wonderful is the business model than can generate such profits? Is this capitalism at its worst or at its best? Intrigued I am :-).

Taare Zameen Par

2007-12-22T01:20:00.000-05:00

It is exactly 3 months since my last post. Looking back, I can't think of a reason convincing enough for myself to have not written for such a long time. The only thing I can do it try and not be the same for the coming 3 months. On the flip side though, there cannot be a more apt reason to come back than Taare Zameen Par!!!

I am sure there will be tonnes of raving reviews about the movie all over the place, and I am only adding a drop to the ocean. But if I don't do it, I will feel that I did not give vent to the numerous emotions that the film aroused in me.

Not very often do you come across a piece of art that touches your core to an extent of leaving a permanent mark on it. Not very often do you see people standing spellbound to watch the ending credits till the screen is switched of. Not very often do I have to throw my handkerchief (I still use one in the US!!) in the washing basket after coming home from the movie theater. It rarely happens that you don't want to discuss or write about the specifics of a film because you feel that your limited writing ability will not do justice to it. How many times has it happened that a movie makes you feel that your existence is so shallow and meaningless, and your aspirations so animal-like - devoid of any purpose. How many times do you like a 'movie' so much that if somebody tries to make a mockery of it you for once want to forget all arguments about open mindedness and freedom of speech, and smack the person on the nose. How many times.....not very often!!

Do yourself a big favor please, don't miss out on this one.

One Liners

2007-09-21T11:17:00.000-04:00

For many years now, I have observed that random one-liners from people I come across in daily life tend to stick to my memory and keep coming back in my conscious thought process periodically. Yesterday while thinking about this I decided that I should keep a log of these one-liners. So here it is, a new section dedicated to one-line (or maybe sometimes more than one!) quotes from some well known and some not known at all people.

I met this cousin of a friend of mine a couple of weeks back. We were going over various business opportunities and how one should look at entrepreneurship in general. He said this one line that I can't forget:

"What is the enemy of GOOD.....
......BETTER!!!!"

Are you still complaining?

2007-09-12T09:28:00.000-04:00

A few days back I bumped into this post on a blog that I found very interesting and motivating. Then today I got an email (one of those forwards) from a friend on the same topic. I almost hit the forward button to send it to everyone on my contact list, but then remembered how I always comment about people increasing the traffic on the Internet, and clog the servers with useless forwards. Since the intent of this forward is very noble, I dare not call it useless. So I am using a more efficient mode of communication - put all the pictures from the forwarded email on the blog.

Blogging and the wonders of the world

2007-08-29T23:26:00.000-04:00

The real wonders of the world, the numerous people out there who take life to be a step above the mere circle of existence. Back in the old days you would have to be a party hopper or a pathological socialite to know enough people to find the ones who can satisfy your craving for some genuinely intellectual fulfillment. I believe blogging has opened up the playing field for those less privileged souls who would have otherwise perished in anonymity just because they were not born in a family that would put them on the center stage of the society.
I do repent on not having jumped on to the blogging bandwagon earlier on. In fact having a background in communication technologies, it is rather shameful that I kept myself away from it for such a long time. Lately however, while spending some leisure time on blog-hopping, I have come across some wonderful brains to whom I would like to meet in person if given an opportunity. Many remind you of the person you are, or the person you always wanted to be, many remind you of the things you once held as most important but lost track of them running after things that you don't really deem important at all, many of them bring you face to face with the most hurtful facts, many of them give you that moral uplifting just when you need it the most, many of them give you perspectives that you instantaneously find acceptance for, many of them....the list goes on. The bottom line however, is that blogging has given me access to some real wonders of the world who are not popular enough to get a billion votes, but at the same time don't need those votes to solidify their place amongst the best wonders. Thank you blogging.

My experiments with Integrity

2007-08-28T21:19:00.000-04:00

Integrity - I first got introduced to the real life meaning of this word in The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, when back in college one of the teachers I admire a lot recommended that I read it. I was always considered to be a hard-headed idealistic person, often to the extent of being dogmatic. Then gradually I discovered the true me, or rather I should say the me that I would want to be - a person with integrity. I found out the difference between being dogmatic and having high levels of integrity. Over the years, I have tried my best to remain true to that image of myself. That is the singular most important thing that gives me satisfaction when I look straight into my eyes in the mirror and see the person behind them. There were times when I really questioned the worth in maintaining integrity as opposed to being retaliatory. There have been times when I ended up hurting those who care for me in the process of making sure that my integrity is not hurt. Whether this was right or wrong, is yet unknown to me and hence I call them my experiments with integrity (though I would be lying if I say that before I die I will be able to get some conclusions out of this experiment).
These are the days of extreme turbulence for my experiment. I like the little snippet on the cover page of the book titled integrity by Dr. Henry Cloud. It says "the courage to meet the demands of reality". The way I apply this to the context of my current situation is that no matter how ugly the reality becomes, no matter how bitter the world around me is, if I have the courage to face the facts and give real world sacrifices to preserve my integrity, only then will I have successfully completed one more phase of this experiment. Let us see.

P.S.: The reason I wrote this post is to use it as a place to get myself back on my feet when they are shaken off the ground by the turbulences I see approaching in the coming days.

Fair Enough?

2007-08-26T02:51:00.000-04:00

Back in 1998 when I was in the second year of college, an incident happened that made me question the benefits of my sticking to my morals and ethics in the midst of the worst crisis. That day the frustration within me came out in the form of few words that had sent shock waves across the senior management. Years later today, I am in a phase where my mind asks me the same question: Is it worth maintaining and living upto your own standards of moral conduct, or should you once in a while cross your self-drawn boundaries and give a sucker punch to teach somebody a lesson? So far I have been successful in sticking to the former, and intend to do so for the time foreseen, because I firmly believe that the strength of your ethics is tested only when the goings are tough and the world pushes you into a corner where you feel like blasting out in anger.

Fortunately, I still have a copy of that letter, that had the same title as the one for this post. Though the context today is completely different and hence the particular words and phrases don't apply, the underlying meaning is so apt even today. Here is the original script:

"This is neither a protest letter nor a piece of paper questioning the righteousness of the decisions imposed. But, as great men say, one should never suppress the strom of emotions rising within one's soul, we found it proper to put our feeling on paper and try to console our minds for the injustice we think has been done to us.

In the history of mankind, there have been numerous instances when the obvious truth was neglected, not to mention, this was one. Man, for his own interest, or to pamper his fake reputation has many a time chosen paths which he himself is not sure if they are worth following or not. It has slowly seeped into the human nature that one hates to look with naked eyes towards the sun which gives a honest light, but adores the sight of the cozy moon which, in fact has not brightness of its own.

For centuries, the people who have shown the wisdom of keeping matters free from troubles at the cost of their own well being, have been taken for granted. Their patience has been mistaken for their cowardice. There are only two possible end results for this. One, unfortunately is that these handful of people become saturated of tolerating evil, lose their patience and put things into chaos. The other one, and the only hope for tomorrow, is that the people in authority wake up from their age old sleep, and show the wits and courage to support the wise in their cause, so that others might also in future take the pains of fighting the wrong in the right manner. The decision whether which path to take, lies in our hands. Whether we want to give our future generations a society which has its foundation on truth and honesty, or one with double standards prevailing everywhere, depends entirely on us."

Any answers?

2007-08-20T09:15:00.000-04:00

We, the most evolved creatures, the most fantastic design of nature, the most civilized species....we, the human race. We have come a long way from the day we started walking on two limbs. We know a lot of things, yet have not the faintest ideas about most. Our opinions for the most part are shaped by the tiny part of the world we see first hand, by the keyhole of our own experiences. If we are asked about the same opinions in the context of the space-time dimensions that are beyond the realm of our experiences, even the few of us who have received a lifetime of training on those subjects can make an educated guess at best. Come to think of it, some of my previous posts (The 20/20 Hindsight! (?), Changing Frames of Reference.., Perspectives) are different ways of coming to the same 'confusion', and hence this post is also a repetition of the same idea. But a series of events over the weekend irritated the thinking neurons, and I had to blog it out to soothe the itching :-).

First was this concluding episode of the fantastic Planet Earth series, in which they talked about the role of religion in conservation. They say that when it comes to bringing awareness on a mass scale, faith is a stronger medium than logic. Especially when the process involves sacrificing of material well being by the less privileged. They quote the example of how the people of Tibet, even the poorest ones, burnt their most expensive furs when the Dalai Lama spoke against wearing them. There are plenty of initiatives like this one that try to achieve the goals of nature conservation by means of religion.

Then on Sunday when I was in Barnes and Noble, I was solicited for donating money to an organization that uses the mode of religion to promote world peace. Once more I came across the school of thought that believes in faith being stronger than logic, and that religion can be used to convince people that the interests of humanity should be put before the interests of the State or individual.

Third was the description of the history of economics in the first few pages of this book I have been wanting to read for a long time - The Worldly Philosophers. The author opines that the need for 'economists' arose after the world adopted the idea of free markets. Before that the balance of the society was maintained primarily by either of the two methods, viz. tradition and authority. In places where 'tradition' was used, the role of an individual was decided by birth, while in places that used 'authority', an individuals fate was decided by a plenipotentiary entity, like the 'party' in the former USSR. In the free market philosophy, the individual had 'choice', and with this came the complicated question of who maintains the equilibrium of the society if every person was a loose cannon. This question gave birth to the profession of an economist as we know it now.

Finally today the New York Times published an article titled The Politics of God. The limelight was the much debated question of how separate should politics be from religion, and how much separate it really is in the America of today.

All this led me to think that if I were to give my opinion on these issues, I have sufficient clarity of thought to take a stand. However, if I have to think in terms of a thousand years, or for that matter two hundred years, and take a stand, I sure am confused. The free market economy has its own benefits, but we have also witnessed the dark side of it in the politics of oil that is taking hundreds of lives everyday, or the continuous quest for higher profits that is poisoning the food chain with cancerous chemicals. Sure the free market economy has given me the freedom to express my opinion on this blog today, but has it passed the test of time yet? The balancing act that tradition played was around for millennia, will the free market be able to survive that long? Or will we some day, maybe a hundred years from now, reach a threshold where another revolution will bring an end to it. Maybe we will eventually develop a society where the balance is maintained by 'design', like that movie (I can't remember the name) in which every individual was genetically designed to be good at a certain task and that became his destiny before birth. Maybe at that time the direction of the world will be determined by 'geneticists' and not 'economists'.

The importance given to religion as an answer to the challenges of the modern world creates a bigger challenge for non-believers like me who believe in the underlying principles of religion, but find the conventional concept of God too 'unscientific' to adopt. But again when I think of it in terms of the mass population, where we have a majority of individuals not having exposure to the kind of intellectual training that I was privileged with, or the nature-gifted self control that is bestowed upon me, I get confused again. How would it be possible to convince the world - in its entirety - to live the way of life preached by religion, but without believing in a supreme power. Is the human mind evolved enough to accept that one's failures and accomplishments are a result of a combination of factors like intelligence, hard work, co-incidences, and even sheer luck; and because of that one should be immune to disappointments and pomposity? Can I convince with 'true success', even 2 out of 10 people that we should make conscious efforts and even give up certain conveniences to conserve the environment, purely based on logical arguments? And the opposite, how many people can I convince to do the same if their religion also dictated so? My logic says at least 5 out of 10. But in accepting that logic, I butcher my other logic!!!

To Change or Not to Change!!!

2007-08-17T10:54:00.000-04:00

What is one supposed to do when he/she reaches a point where one realizes that he/she has taken a path he/she did not intend to, and now wishes to switch gears, change directions, and move on in what seems to be the right path? We come across such cross roads all the time as individuals, but some times these forks come in our way as a nation. One option is to conveniently ignore the situation because making any change is, to put in one word, hard. The other is to take the pains of going through a correction process so that the coming generations do not have to live with the contradiction.
The subject in context is that of the National Anthem of India. It has been debated over and over again, and honestly I never paid any particular attention to it earlier. Today after seeing the latest Rehman rendering of the current National Anthem, I was curious to know the meaning of the words we have sung for years now. Apart from the controversies of many years that were enlisted in the web pages, what struck me more was that I did not find the meaning of the words good enough for the song Jana Gana Mana to be used as the National Anthem.
Obviously following the leads of the controversies led me to find out the exact meaning conveyed by the most sought after contender - Vande Mataram. I can't understand how one can refute the aptness of this song in the designation of a National Anthem? I do understand the sensitivities involved in maintaining a secular outlook when it comes to things of national significance, but what is wrong in selecting the verses that have no such obstacle? Even those selected verses convey a far more 'secular' message, and more importantly 'patriotic' message, than the words of Jana Gana Mana.
Personally, I find this to me a much more appropriate change to make than Mumbai, Chennai, Kolkata or Bangaluru!!

Can't agree more!!!

2007-08-14T01:05:00.000-04:00

Came across a couple of nice quotations today:

“A man must consider what a rich realm he abdicates when he becomes a conformist.”

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Which reminded me of this one from the blog of a friend who has decided to stop blogging (I hope he changes his decision):

Across the fields of yesterday, He sometimes comes to me,

A little lad just back from play, The boy I used to be.

He looks at me so wistfully, When once he's crept within,

It is as if he hoped to see, The man I might have been.

I will not ruin the significance of these magnificent words by trying to explain them. I only wish that at the end of my life I can close my eyes in peace, and say to myself that I was successful in living a life true to the meaning of these.

The most worthless contest

2007-08-10T23:51:00.000-04:00

“You wouldn't worry so much about what people really thought of you if you knew just how seldom they actually do.”

I have seen many people live their entire life as if it were a popularity contest. Their every action, every outwardly dealings are done with only one thing in mind - what will others think about it? In doing so, they knowingly or unknowingly keep on poisoning themselves and the environment around them with negativity. In the midst of the smallest contradiction with anybody, they have to conspire with the entire universe to prove how incorrect the other person is. All I have for such people is lots of pity, because I personally find this contest to be the most worthless one.

I have always been a hard headed person in conventional wisdom. I live for myself and nobody else. Neither do I pretend to be otherwise, nor do I want anybody to think that I am otherwise. When I make this statement, what kind of an impression any person wants to form about me is entirely their prerogative. The only thing that is important for me is that I never lie to anybody, especially myself, and do not criticize anybody in front of a third person because I do not agree with his/her point of view. The whole world might sing praises about me, but if I am not satisfied with what I did, the praises mean nothing to me. Every single soul can be against me, but if I think I am doing the right thing, I care less about what anybody thinks. For me the only person with whom I should be popular is my own self. The only person with whom I am competing in this popularity contest is me myself. The only person whom I give the right to decide the outcome of this contest is me myself. I think the world would be a much happier place if every person decides to just take care of his/her own self, or more importantly, take care of 'just' his/her own self!! As soon as the 'just' word is forgotten, the worthless contest begins and happiness ends.

(Feeling too sleepy so please pardon if I sounded very confusing)

The best thing you can do....

2007-08-09T23:49:00.000-04:00

....is to just laugh it out. I am talking about situations you come across in your own life that are not the most pleasant. I have found that instead of cribbing or mourning about it, giving it a humorous twist is the best way to deal with it. Though I have practiced this in my life 'as much as possible' (the goal is to change this phrase to one word - always), it explicitly came to my mind from a conversation I had with Nihar today.

A cousin of mine has just came in from India and is staying with me. For the past few days all three of us were having dinner together. Today when it was only me and Nihar, he asked me this question keeping her in context:

"ene tamara vishe khabar chhe?" (Does she know about the two of you?)

I instantaneously said "yes", then I paused a few seconds and gave him a broad smile. On being asked the reason, I told him -

"Back in the college days when somebody used the exact same set of words to ask a question, it was such an opposite meaning than what it meant today!!"

I found it a little amusing, a little disappointing, a little weird, a little funny, how the same words can have such drastically opposite meanings depending on their context. Again, I think the best way to face it is to laugh it off as I did today (I know, easier said than done - but again, who said life was easy!)

Man vs. Machine

2007-08-07T22:50:00.000-04:00

A friend recommended this toolbar called 'stumbleupon' that randomly takes you to a website that has content from a list of your favorite categories. While trying it for the first time today, I came across a website called "World of Inspiration". Though I did not dig deep into it, on the first page I found this interesting quote:

“Take away my people, but leave my factories, and soon grass will grow on the factory floors. Take away my factories, but leave my people, and soon we will have a new and better factory.”

Andrew Carnegie

How true!! I have always been a firm believer of the philosophy that any system, any process, any society, any civilization, and business model, is to a large extent dependent on the people at the helm of its affairs for it to be a success. Look at USA over the past century and then look at China over the past couple of decades. Can anybody say for sure if democracy or communism makes a nation successful? Look at the erstwhile USSR and look at Pakistan. Can anybody opine with certainly if socialism or democracy can be responsible for the downfall of a country?

It has been of interest to me to know the corporate structures and company mission statements or guiding principles of successful corporations. I am yet to find a methodology that 'works'! I have seen corporations that are run on lose democratic principles (McKinsey), and companies that are still run by a chain of family members (Hershey's). Few if any can question the success of these giants, and few if any can explain the linkage between their corporate structure and business growth.....especially if the analysis was done simultaneously for both and compared. Books like "Built to Last" do explain the reasons some corporations have withstood the test of time, but fail to explain the reasons why many corporations vanished in spite of that.

All this has led me to believe in Andrew Carnegie's quote mentioned earlier, and my quote mentioned right after that :-).

India poised!!

2007-08-04T11:14:00.001-04:00

This has been debated in the intellectual circles of our beloved nation for some time now....may it be a group of concerned industrialists discussing their long term vision of the Indian economy, or some activists calling these industrialists a bunch of greedy capitalist pigs, or a couple of young executives who work in the upcoming corporations of these industrialists talking about the 'India-story' over a cup of Barista coffee. As interesting as this debate always sounds, when you think about it in loneliness, it sends a shiver down your spine. Today in the Ahmedabad section of Times of India, I found these two stories listed so close together, and I could not help but notice the stark contradiction in the India of today, being reflected so clearly. The gory details of the second piece of news made me as much or more sad as compared to the excitement I experienced from the details of the first.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong in the fact that the Indian economy is booming, even though it is for a select segment of the society and the gap between the haves and have-nots is widening. The simple reason behind this is that in my opinion that is the only way to coming out of the 'developing nation' tag, and the downsides we are talking about will be a part of the process no matter how hard you try. In the changing face of the nation, the generation that is caught in the middle will have to give this sacrifice.

However, we should keep in mind that as a nation we will have to control some aspects of this change to avoid things from getting into a chaos. First and foremost is quality education. In order to sustain the growth and provide enough quality man power to the industrial juggernauts that can leapfrog the nation into the future, we will need to improve our educational processes and institutions on a mass scale. Second is retraining of the existing man power. The changes that have come in the past few years, and the changes that are bound to come in the coming years, will make a lot of people obsolete and put them out of their jobs or make their roadside small businesses go bankrupt. We will need to put in place systems which facilitates the retraining of these people into fields where there is opportunity for survival. Unfortunately as it stands today, I have not seen any concrete efforts made at a war footing on either of these avenues.

I am no expert on socio-economics so I cannot give my 'prediction' on what will happen given a certain sequence of events. Maybe these factors won't have any effect and the market driven economy will find a solution to these problems on its own. Maybe sooner or later the people who can make a difference will come to realize the gravity of this problem and try to rectify it. If this is to happen I can only wish that it happens sooner....before the India that is poised starts looking down in disappointment instead of looking up with a refreshing smile.

Another experiment begins...

2007-08-03T14:56:00.000-04:00

Today marks the beginning of another personal experiment: I subscribed to two mailing lists that can potentially broaden my horizons. One is call 'Word of the Day' - which as is easy to guess, sends me an email everyday with all possible details about one particular word. Another, called 'On this Day' sends me a list of significant events that happened on today's date. As for Aug 3, the following are the events worth mentioning:

Happy Independence Day Niger!!!

I was surprised to see how similar the Niger national flag is to our Tiranga.

Adios Chris!!!
1492 - Christopher Columbus set sail from Spain, on his first voyage that took him to the present-day Americas.

This is another interesting one:
1981 - U.S. air traffic controllers went on strike, despite a warning from President Ronald Reagan they would be fired, which they were.
Having grown up witnessing the daily comedy show of Indian politics, I am sometimes fascinated by the way the leadership in this country deals with some situations - like their 'we do not negotiate with terrorists' approach or in this case the 'Don't mess with me, I am the boss' approach. Of course there are always convincing arguments that are contrary to everything that we say.

Anyways, I hope this experiment will achieve the results I expect. Maybe they will take me to a stage where my name will be listed in the 'On this Day' email that will be sent out some years from now :-). At the very least, I will certainly have some meat for my blog everyday!!

The 20/20 Hindsight ! (?)

2007-08-02T01:10:00.000-04:00

When we look back at things and talk about it, often times we say that so many years back if I would have done that thing this way, today I would have been there instead of here. I disagree with that way of thinking because we do not take into account here all the events that happened after that. In the years after that singular decision or series of decisions, we must have certainly come across a multitude of forks, there must have been numerous other factors that influenced the outcome of that event. Today we are making a judgment about our that decision based on the outcome we are seeing today. But if I had chosen otherwise, maybe after going through all the forks that followed and all the factors that contributed to the after effects of that decision over a period of time, I would have still been 'here' and not 'there'. Maybe I would in fact be 'there', but that is also a 'maybe'. I cannot sit and scratch my head thinking that where I am today would have been different if at a certain point in the past I did something in a different manner.

However, we as human beings have a natural tendency to find reasons and opportunities to put the blame on something or somebody else. It is too painful to know the reality, and even more difficult to live with that awareness. This natural tendency is the cause of many things that have become a part of our society, our way of living. I sometimes even find this tendency to be a major contributory factor behind the almost universal acceptance of the traditional concept of God (this though deserves a separate post or series of posts). For now, it would suffice to say that where we are today may have been different if we did a certain things differently, but its a 'maybe' at best. Where we will be many years from now may be different if we do certain things differently today....again it is a 'maybe' at best. But what I have in my hand now, right in front of me, is this moment, this day. Let us live it through as we find it best, let us do things today as we find them appropriate and let life take its course.

Quote of the day...

2007-08-01T00:22:00.000-04:00

I came across this quote at a doctor's office today....while I do remember having read this earlier somewhere, it slipped out of memory. I decided to make a note of it on the blog today so that I never forget it....and possibly try to implement the same in my life.

FIND OUT WHAT WORK YOU LOVE TO DO, AND YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE!!

Simple. Striking. Glaringly true. Very difficult to actually practice.

Dharm (Religion)

2007-07-29T15:52:00.001-04:00

I read the reviews of this movie (Indiafm, Nowrunning) many weeks back and had put the movie in my "to-watch" list. Finally on today's lazy sunday afternoon I got a chance to watch it. While I do not agree with the reviewers when they call the movie flawless, I do whole heartedly agree with them when they say that the movie is a must-see for anybody who appreciates meaningful and thought provoking art in cinema.
I have always believed in religion....not the one that the world identifies me to be born in, not the one that the priest asks me to repeat after him when I am performing some ritual to walk the fine line between maintaining my beliefs and way of life while at the same time not offending or hurting my elders. The religion of truth (which can be called common sense if you really try to excavate its meaning), the religion of humanity (the quality that has made the human species overcome animal instincts and build civilizations), the religion of life (that which makes you go through this cycle of existence without getting a nervous breakdown even after realizing the futility of the whole process)....that is the religion I truly believe in. I think the underlying message from this movie is in sync with that, hence these words of appreciation for the movie (yeah yeah, another example of the narcissism of human nature!!).
Good acting, good direction, to-the-point approach towards story-telling, giving justice to the theme/message, the substance in the message itself....thats the recipe of a good film. The team behind this movie sure do understand that!! Watch it when you are not pre-occupied with anything.

Changing frames of reference...

2007-07-28T23:18:00.000-04:00

Yesterday for dinner I went to my high school teacher's place who is visiting from India for a few weeks. Today I spent the entire day with some friends from high school. We talked about a lot of things from those old days of adolescence when the world seemed so much different than it does now. While returning from the train station after dropping my friends off, my car's gas indicator started flashing so I decided to take the internal road instead of the 'toll' road to get some gas. As always, the mind started wandering off into thoughts, and came to point of realization that is simple, commonly known and experienced, yet interesting enough to pen (type!) down.

Our vision of the world around us, our outlook towards day to day life, our awareness about ourself, everything changes so much with the changes in our frame of reference!!

Last year when I was in Ahmedabad, I had visited my high school. While walking from the main gate to the building, passing through the hallways, entering the classroom, peeping out of the classroom window, looking over the compound wall towards the playground with the volleyball court was and is there, the open area right in the middle of the building where we spent numerous recesses playing cricket with the palm as bat and rolled up paper covered with a bunch of rubber bands as ball, all these places, all these passage ways, all the aisles between the benches (and the benches themselves), they all seemed so......small. What has changed....nothing except my frame of reference!

In the last few weeks I must have spent about $300 eating out. I remember the days when spending $1.69 for a lunch seemed so difficult. I remember the days when I used to take the same local road that I took today out of compulsion, to save $1.85 in tolls. I remember the days when even with those limitations there was a sense of contention, a peace of mind, a satisfaction with the self that ran deep down. What has changed....nothing except my own frame of reference!

I wonder if it were possible to freeze the frame of reference, or make oneself immune to the changes in this frame of reference, or reach a frame of reference where the frame of reference does not exist at all and we can always think in absolutes....I wonder how that state of mind would be....can we call it ataraxism :-)

Miscellania...

2007-07-27T00:04:00.000-04:00

Hesitatingly went to this birthday dinner in the evening....consumed alcohol, intentionally and willfully, for the second time in my life....and am still in the senses to write something :-). A couple of conversations I had over the dinner table that kept reverberating in my mind for a long time.

1. The Waitress and the unwanted, unnecessary, unbreakable ritual

She opens up a bottle of wine and asks the person sitting beside me "Do you want to taste some before I pour it?"
The usual answer "Sure"
Then the usual rotary movement of the glass to make sure that small portion of wine is properly mixed....the customary small sip....the nod to pour more.
Following my off-late conviction of not letting anything go unquestioned if my rationale can't accept it completely, I ask the waitress "What would you do if he tells you he didn't like it?"
"I would have to bring another bottle"
"Of the same kind?"
"Not necessarily....anything else that he asks for, but generally everyone has tasted the wine before they order it"
"Tell me one thing, how long have you been working here?"
"Little over two years"
"Have you ever come across anybody who has said 'no I didn't like the wine' to you?"
(A broad smile) "No"

I have never been able to understand the necessity of formalities....just makes the environment too heavy for me to handle.

2. The oh-so-clear vision of hindsight....and the oh-so-effortless forgetfulness

"I went to this orientation at the University and came across so many kids who seemed to be very smart but were into majors like modern languages. What's the point of spending so much if all you want to learn is different languages?"
"I know, I can't understand what's wrong with the kids today. They just don't seem to know what they want and have no idea of where they are headed"
"What college did you go to?"
"hhmmmm.....the xyz community college....then this culinary school....I wanted to be a chef....and my parents told me I needed to do this so I did it"
"So when you were in college did you know you wanted to do what you are doing today?"
"No, but at least I didn't take all these wierd classes"
"If you recollect how you were when you were in college, do you think you have any right to make the comments that you just made about the kids of today?"
(End of conversation)
(Beginning of totally different topic)

Who am I?

2007-07-20T00:15:00.000-04:00

In the age that we live in, they say that information is power. The more you know about your enemy, the better chance you have at winning. The more you know about your rival company, the more successful you will be. If you know a person's weaknesses, you will be able to manipulate them to your advantage. Not very often though I see people try to get more information about their own self. I have never really tried to find the reason behind that. Is it because the question 'who am i' never popped up in their conscious mind? Or is it because the answer to that question is ever eluding and oh-so-hard? Or is it because the real answer to that question is depressing and ugly and we would rather live in self-denial? Whatever the reason, a majority of us simply shy away from the answer we ought to find before any other pursuit in life (or maybe after finding this answer no other quest remains meaningful?).
There are two ways you can approach the answer to this question - technical and spiritual. I will leave the spiritual part of it for some future article. Lets touch upon the technical approach for now. Who am I?

I am what I think I am. But what do I think about myself?
For the most part, our opinion about our own self is created by the impression that a majority of the people who we trust and care for have about us. But how is this impression created?
The biggest source of this impression is our own thoughts and opinions about a multitude of things. But where do these thoughts and opinions of mine come from?
Apart from some amount of genetic predisposition, our thoughts and opinions are shaped up by the experiences that we have been through till now in our life. But where do these experiences come from?
From the people around us, from the world we live in, from the information we have access to, from the consequences of our actions we have seen (which in most cases are not in our control).

Hold on a second....let us go through this in reverse gear....does all this mean that the person I am is for the most part dictated by everything around me? Am I so helpless? Not really. There are two key points which will determine our fate:

The experience that we will be put through is not always in our control, but what opinion we form because of that is completely in our control.
No matter how harsh a particular experience might have been, always keep yourself open to the completely opposite. The wider the diversity of your experience, the more unbiased your opinions will be and the better the person you become. As Krishnamurti often says....let the breeze caress you, feel the sun, listen to the flowing water, taste it, let the rain wet you, walk bare-footed on the wet grass and warm sand....or as I put it....always keep your antennas extended and the neural pathways to your frontal lobe wide open :-).

Perspectives.....

2007-07-15T08:27:00.000-04:00

"When you consider how far the human race has come in just the past 50 years, it's hard not to get a little carried away when fantasizing about what we could be seeing in the near future. There's certainly no shortage of Hollywood blockbusters that harness this imaginative creativity.."

An excerpt from the article on cnet about what are some of the coolest technologies of the future. It leads one to think how much difference can one's perspective make in defining their belief system. If I were to talk of flying cars a hundred years back when cars were the ultimate luxury and flight was an experimental concept, I would have been an object of ridicule. Today most of the educated world will endorse that idea with open arms. The only difference here is that our perspective is newer by a hundred years. Not that we are genetically a whole lot evolved from our ancestors, only that our mindset is shaped by what we have seen and think is possible since the time we were born.
A sudden digression from the topic....isn't it amazing how the human mind works. Whenever we come across any situation, our mind immediately spawns out numerous simultaneous threads and in a split second shows to us on our internal movie screen the snapshots of all incidences in our life that are directly or indirectly connected to the situation in front of us at the current moment. For example as soon as I typed 'think is possible' my mind reminded me of this cool video on mansi's orkut profile. Do make it a point to watch it.
Anyway, the bottomline being that our perspectives define our mindset. So one should always keep oneself open to new experiences....thats the only way to keep your treasure of perspectives growing and your opinions more objective.

To new beginnings...

2007-07-13T13:31:00.000-04:00

Its spring time for this blog!! After my recent come-back to tennis and the rejuvenation it provided to my spirits, I have decided to bring back to life this other thing that I believe is precious to me....my thoughts. Naturally the place where those thoughts are given a percievable form is this blog which has been ignored for many months now. But from this point on, spring is here to stay on this blog. I promise to keep this promise this time :-)

Time flies faster than you can imagine

2006-09-20T11:51:00.000-04:00

Wow, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the date of my last post. Between social obligations and personal chores, time seems to be going faster than I can run. And then as always, the eternal question pops up....what are we running towards? I was reading a book on the Upanishadas last month. The sages certainly had deep knowledge of how the human psyche works, and the big picture of everything. But I could not find a definitive (or rather I should say one that convinces me) answer to this question. Someday, I do plan to involve the best minds I know to get together and discuss this topic.

Think outside the box!

2006-08-17T19:57:00.000-04:00

I was at this doctor's office the day before yesterday installing their DSL connection. In the kit they provide a splitter like the one shown in the picture, so that your existing phone/fax can work alongwith the newly installed DSL. Now the problem was, that the wall outlet into which this connector goes was in one room, and the place where they wanted the fax machine and DSL modem was in another room. In the existing installation, they had a lose cable run in between the two rooms, which went through 2 badly drilled holes in two walls, over a drop ceiling which could not be opened up because it was so old that it had stuck to its support, and more such 'band-aid' type installation work. I was bewildered, I thought and thought but could not come up with a solution. I went to a local store and bought a connector like the one shown, except that in place of the male socket that goes in the wall, it had a 25 ft cable. I was hoping that I will manage to run that cable through the existing installation and have a dual socket in the room I wanted to put the DSL router. I struggled for 15 minutes with help from the medical assistants...with no luck :-(. I was about to give up and call a cable installer when the timid, high-school graduate, medical assistant said..."Can we insert the male socket in the outlet of the DSL modem, and insert the cable that is coming from the other room in one of the female sockets of the splitter?". I would have never thought of doing it, and even now I had my doubts it that would work. I tried to figure out for 5 minutes, drawing the possible way in which the internal wiring of the splitter worked and trying to guess if this solution would work. With no certain answer, I said what the heck, let's just try it. IT WORKED! I felt a little ashamed that my 6 years of technical education had made me so detail oriented and theoretical that I needed 5 minutes to give a hesitant approval to myself to try a simple solution to a simple problem. Its like the other common metaphor that people give...the doctors who have practiced in areas of wide spread disease will suspect even your common cold to have some serious internal complications.

The search paid off!!

2006-08-14T23:16:00.000-04:00

I wanted to write something meaningful today. After discarding some initial vague thoughts, I decided to read the news for today and see if I can come up with something from that. Very soon I started reading the interesting business headline of today, which I did hear over radio during the day - Indra Nooyi is named the next CEO of PepsiCo. Soon I started reading more about her background and found out that she has actually completed most part of her education in India. I might be wrong here, but I can safely claim that she must be the first woman executive born, raised and educated in India, who has reached the pinnacle of a major international corporation. Truely a commendable feat. But what interested me more in her is a particular remark of her - In May 2005 Nooyi started a controversy when she spoke to graduates of the NY Columbia Business School describing the USA as "the long middle finger" adding the US "must be careful that when we extend our arm in either a business or political sense, we take pains to assure we are giving a hand . . . not the finger." She certainly shares a very popular opinion that most people who have migrated to the US from a third world country have. If anybody asks me about the single most negative trait of this country, I cannot put it in better words than how Ms. Nooyi said in that statement. For a majority of Americans, the world begins and ends in between the Pacific and Atlantic oceans...with the southern part just being a vestigial appendix. I still can't understand how the winner of the "National" Football League is call a "World" Champion! It still amuses me as to how can anything that is the best in America be so easily and commonly termed as best in the world! How can the most open minded and rich and technologically advanced country be so short sighted towards anybody and everybody! As they say, nobody is perfect. I guess this is the one big flaw in the otherwise close to perfect red, white and blue fabric of this nation.

Busy and relaxing weekend

2006-08-14T00:04:00.000-04:00

Went to sleep at 3:30 am on saturday morning after the late night show of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. The effect...woke up late, really late, on saturday. Lazed off a little, did some cleaning work at home, and as we were beginning to freshen up for a social visit, had a medical emergency in the family. After spending most part of the afternoon at the hospital, came home and got ready. Drove for 2 hours to Long Island for Rakshabandhan. Came back at 2:30 in the morning on Sunday, exhausted. Again woke up late on Sunday, in the mood to finish up the home cleaning. In the process, with and excuse of taking a 'break', watched 2 movies. One good - The Incredibles, one horrible - can't even remember the name. I have always disliked chick flicks. Again got ready and left to attend a marriage anniversary. Stopped by at work for about 40 minutes on the way back home. Here I am now, at the end of a busy (so many social engagements) and relaxing (watched some movies on the couch) weekend, trying to write something on the blog to keep the tradition alive. I did try to think of something that would make up a meaningful write, but didn't wan't to strain the neurons a lot.....IT'S A WEEKEND!

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

2006-08-12T02:19:00.000-04:00

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna was the highlight of today. After reading some extreme reviews about the movie, I was curious to see on which side of the fence I would be after watching the movie. Having witnessed the welcome change in Bollywood over the past some years, I think I will agree with the better reviews. It is certainly a well made movie, with that element of "different" in it (well, for the most part). IMHO if the some unwanted cliches were left out and a couple of songs were deleted, it would have pushed the movie a bit more towards perfection. The movie does a good job of sketching out different types of personalities via the lead characters. It was interesting for me to see the transforming value systems of a society. For all these years our traditions suggested that the institution of marriage is unbreakable. I have seen first hand in the case of many that the two people involved in this relationship never call it quits and cling to whatever they can to maintain it....at what cost and to achieve what....I have yet not figured out. I have also seen first hand the culture in the western world, where this relationship is broken as easily as one changing homes. This movie potrayed both these beliefs in a decent fashion. I have always wondered about the rights and wrongs, the goods and bads, the blacks and whites. It always bewildered me as to which value system is 'better'. On the one hand I have seen people in our country living through hell, trying to keep a dead relationship alive. And on the other hand I have seen the terrible state of society and culture in the western world. We learnt in our pure science classes that the total quantity of chaos in the universe constantly increases, and that every process moves in the direction of this increase in chaos. I believe even our society is moving from a state of harmony (as distressful as it might be) to a state of increasing chaos!

My questions to life....

2006-08-10T20:25:00.000-04:00

Generally, I consider myself to be a very clear person. When I have an opinion, it is in most cases unambiguous and precise, at least to me. Many a times that is to an extent that I come across to some people as a hard headed individual. However, there are a lot of questions that often cross my mind for whom I don't have any answer. I would consider myself fortunate if by the end of my life I am able to gain a better understanding of those subjects. From now on, I will periodically document those questions on this blog. I will be extremely happy and thankful to recieve feedback from people if they have anything to say about them.
Here comes the question for today...rather the description of the question. Most people that I know have something or the other that makes them go crazy. They have a passion for something, maybe a sport, an actor, material well being, books, or something as simple as stamps. The proximity to that one thing makes them happier than the most happy person, and the loss of that can even make them sob like a child. I on the contrary have no such interest. I have not yet come across anything that makes me ecstatic, that would cause an outburst of emotions by me. Often times I consider that to be a virtue, because it helps me be calm and composed when people are going berserk and the need of the hour is presence of mind. But then at others, that quality proves to be bane since I don't find myself agressive enough. When I see a person jumping with joy, I question myself as to should I consider myself fortunate to not have any external factor that can control my emotions, or am I missing the bliss of sheer excitement? On the one hand I see that as people grow older and wiser, they tend to become more unattached and lose that fervor, and on the other I think that maybe the lost of fire made them old!! I have yet not been able to say for sure as to which of these contradicting qualities can be (or should they ever be!!) adjudicated as superior than the other?

What's in a name? - A LOT

2006-08-09T22:55:00.000-04:00

This certainly is a pretty popular philosophy - What's in a name? Ask that question to somebody who hates the name given to him/her by his/her parents. I think the name is a very important aspect for any person, corporation, place or for that matter, thing. Subconsciously, all of us attribute certain qualities to people just by knowing their name. I have always given a lot of importance to the selection of a name when it comes to forming a new company. It is very important for me that the name makes a suggestion of the prime qualities that I would like that company to have. Alongwith that, I have always had a fascination for unique names. Following the same principles, when I decided to start a blog, the first thing I did was a search for a unique yet meaningful name. Thats when I came across this word - ATARAXY.
I want that state of being to be my ultimate goal in life. Even today in introspection, I can safely claim that for 97% of the time I do enjoy that bliss. But the remaining 3% almost kills the rest, and I hate it when that happens. In my opinion, there would be no grief, no sorrow, no hatred in the world if everybody is in ataraxia. Not to my surprise, I recently found out that even the great Upanishadas have quoted that state of mind to be the zenith of achievement. I think if I can lead my life in such a way that to the people whom I am known to, ataraxia is the foremost adjective that they relate to when they think of me, I would consider that to be a big success for me.

The more important question - HOW?

2006-08-07T15:34:00.000-04:00

Well, now that I found out and noted down a reason to blog, I might as well document how I am going to go about doing it on a 'routine' basis. In just a few days I figured that I never acted upon the resolution to use the blog as a means to improve upon my writing skills and achieve something more in the process. I have heard from people that the best way to make anything a habit is to first note it down, second repeat it to yourself as many times as you can, and third make conscious efforts or even force yourself to do it periodically untill it becomes a second nature to you. So here am I, trying my best to finish step one!! I am hoping that in the coming days I will be able to work on step two which will in turn help me get to step three and I will post more often. I am thinking that I should make this a daily affair, and type just about anything from the day that past by. Lets see if I can get anywhere this way.

The most basic question of existence - WHY?

2006-07-17T16:37:00.000-04:00

Why Blog...
Since the past few months, I have been experiencing a strange kind of feeling....some type of dissatisfaction, some form of emptiness. Then lately, after a recent trip to India and a camping trip with old buddies, I realized that there is a lack of intellectually stimulating activity in my everyday life. In a completely different context, I was pointed out to the blog of a friend. It reminded me of a certain time from my past when I used to have an amazing capability to translate small events into wonderful pieces of creative writing. Incidentally, I was at the same time trying to put together some write up for work (which I have not done in a long time now). Soon I realized that I had to put in a lot of effort to articulate the most simple ideas. All this led me to a conclusion that writing a blog should be the easiest way to rejuvenate those neural nets, and at the same time make a permanent record of some wandering thoughts that pop out of nowhere, anytime, all the time. Let us see how far this experiment takes me.